Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Men need to be needed

Dr. Leonard Sax, author of Boys Adrift, was interviewed by NPR on April 4, 2006 after he wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post about his ongoing study of unmotivated boys and young men. The op-ed received widespread attention, being reprinted in three dozen newspapers, and in response to his interview he received over one thousand emails from listeners. Dr. Sax included some of these emails in a chapter of his book. The last email of the chapter is quoted in part below.

From: "Kent Robertson"
Subject: NPR interview

I thought I would share an epiphany I experienced during your interview.

With 4 sons, teen and pre-teen, this "Failure to Launch" trend is one I need to get in front of. You mentioned that these men are quite content despite their lack of motivation. Well, why the hell not. These man/boys have it all. Their material needs are handed to them. The over-indulgent Moms will see to that (didn't the mother who called in make that clear?). Their emasculated fathers usually have little say.

Here's the epiphany--or confession, if you like. I sense that I am only a marital separation away from sinking into such a funk...I have seen many grown men, when their marriage fails, drift toward the man/boy zero-ambition style of life, living in a shanty or maybe back home with parents, in pursuit of personal gratification over everything else, exploiting every sexual opportunity, not unlike the man/boy you described on NPR.

You mentioned "the engine that runs the world." As for me, I think that the engine is the love of a good woman and the ambitions we have together for the family we are raising and for the world we want them to inherit.

Has our intellectual elite and our popular culture tinkered with "the engine that runs the world?" Have we violated something that the ancients knew intuitively but which we have arrogantly ignored?

Kent Robertson

2 comments:

  1. Thanks. I think I'll read this book.

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  2. I really like all the posts you are putting about men and boys...I have actually thought a lot about these same kind of things...

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