samizdat

We are the 53%

2011-12-01T05:06:00.001-08:00

Inspirational way of being

2011-09-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.”

-John Quincy Adams

Looking for a few good men

2011-09-09T08:07:00.000-07:00

The media fails to present young men with honorable role models and instead suggests that they're superfluous--when now is the time that they're needed more than ever before! With all of the single-parent homes, abuse, and familial instability, we need responsible, committed, loving dads more than ever.

http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/09/primetimes-looming-male-identity-crisis/244692/#slide1

Samizdat has engaged with similar topics before featuring a number of posts about men's need to be needed, the rise of drifting boys, and misandry.

Guiding lights

2011-08-26T11:11:00.000-07:00

"Are my guiding principles healthy and robust? On this hangs everything."

-Marcus Aurelius

Conviction

2011-08-19T04:49:00.000-07:00

"If it is good to say or do something, then it is even better to be criticized for having said or done it."

-Marcus Aurelius

Family: The Fundamental Unit of Society

2011-08-17T15:33:00.000-07:00

"Families create a crucial organizational level between the individual and the massive structures of government and business conglomerate. The family is the "little platoon" that gives each individual a sense of personal meaning for his or her life. Other than teaching us our basic citizenship duties, it is not the place of government of the marketplace to tell us what our most personal lie purposes should be. Rather, government and business are supposed to maintain the political and economic stability that will allow each of us to pursue the life purpose we draw from such meaning-generating sources as religion and family life.

So we have historically given the family the immensely important power of deciding which personal values children should learn. We would never allow state control over childrearing, as was a characteristic of Soviet communism, because that control destroys the diversity and range of free choice that democracy is designed to protect.

Without the decentralized authority that lets families and churches play this mediating role between individuals and society's megastructures, we are vulnerable to totalitarianism, which imposes on society one comprehensive order of meaning. Even if our government remains democratic, however, the nation's family and religious structures can grow weak, as they are now becoming. When that happens, people wander in search of personal purpose, often falling prey to the meaningless addictions of materialism and pleasure-seeking."

-Bruce C. Hafen
"Covenant Hearts," pp. 246-247

Measure of a Man

2011-08-17T08:00:00.001-07:00

"Bear in mind that the measure of a man is the worth of the things he cares about."

Marcus Aurelius

Wisdom in intervention

2011-08-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

"One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."

-Master Ugui

from the movie "Kung Fu Panda"

Public servants

2011-08-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

"Public business must always be done by somebody...If wise men decline, others will not; if honest men refuse it, others will not."

-John Adams

Efficiency and preparation

2011-08-10T05:45:00.000-07:00

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."

-Abraham Lincoln

The Noblest Labor

2011-08-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

"It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses."

-Dag Hammarskjold, Swedish Statesman and UN official

Religion is the foundation of democracy and prosperity

2011-08-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

http://www.mormonperspectives.com/2011/02/08/religion-is-the-foundation-of-democracy-and-prosperity/

A post by Clayton Christensen

Politics and War

2011-07-30T05:07:00.000-07:00

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.

John Adams

1 hour to save the world

2011-07-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying, if you have an hour to save the world, spend 55 minutes of it understanding the problem and five minutes of it trying to solve it.

It is the soldier

2011-07-28T16:55:00.002-07:00

It is the soldier, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the soldier
who salutes the flag,
who serves under the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag.

-Father Dennis Edward O'Brian

Art Value

2011-07-27T15:04:00.001-07:00

"The value of an artwork is rooted in assumptions about the human performance underlying its creation."

-Denis Dutton

Four levels of listening

2010-10-21T15:24:00.001-07:00

From Otto Scharmer's Theory U: Leading from the Future as it Emerges

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Downloading

“Yeah, I know that already.” I call this type of listening “downloading”—listening by reconfirming habitual judgments. When you are in a situation where everything that happens confirms what you already know, you are listening by downloading.

Factual

“Ooh, look at that!” This type of listening is factual or object-focused: listening by paying attention to facts and to novel or disconfirming data. You switch off your inner voice of judgment and listen to the voices right in front of you. You focus on what differs from what you already know. Factual listening is the basic mode of good science. You let the data talk to you. You ask questions, and you pay careful attention to the responses you get.

Empathic

“Oh, yes, I know exactly how you feel.” This deeper level of listening is empathic listening. When we are engaged in real dialogue and paying careful attention, we can become aware of a profound shift in the place from which our listening originates. We move from staring at the objective world of things, figures, and facts (the “it-world”) to listening to the story of a living and evolving self (the “you-world”). Sometimes, when we say “I know how you feel,” our emphasis is on a kind of mental or abstract knowing. But to really feel how another feels, we have to have an open heart. Only an open heart gives us the empathic capacity to connect directly with another person from within. When that happens, we feel a profound switch as we enter a new territory in the relationship; we forget about our own agenda and begin to see how the world appears through someone else’s eyes.

Generative

“I can’t express what I experience in words. My whole being has slowed down. I feel more quiet and present and more my real self. I am connected to something larger than myself.” This type of listening moves beyond the current field and connects us to an even deeper realm of emergence. I call this level of listening “generative listening,” or listening from the emerging field of future possibility. This level of listening requires us to access not only our open heart, but also our open will—our capacity to connect to the highest future.

Lies

2010-10-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

Some of the most deceptive and effective lies are concealed in a masterful mimicry of truth.

Repression does not lead to virtue

2010-10-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

"Repression is not the way to virtue. When people restrain themselves out of fear, their lives are by necessity diminished. Only through freely chosen discipline can life be enjoyed and still kept within the bounds of reason."
-Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Conscience

2010-09-25T11:02:00.001-07:00

"To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice."
-Confucius

Kissinger wisdom

2010-07-23T14:11:00.001-07:00

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.”
-Henry Kissinger

Cultural contrast offers a form of redemption

2010-07-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

Wherever you live there's a predominant culture--a common system of values, beliefs, and behaviors that informally govern people's living. This culture can be your national culture, regional culture, city culture, religious culture, racial culture, academic culture, or even family culture. The less people travel, study, and otherwise interact with different ideas, the more their cultural beliefs become reinforced. And even for those who do enjoy the benefits of travel and intellectual development, such people are more likely to socialize, work, and live with others who hold their beliefs. For example, the Washington DC metro area is full of educated, experienced, well-traveled people who do those things because of what they value and/or how they were socialized. Many of these people live in the same neighborhoods and have similar work, vacation, shopping, and leisure patterns. Nevertheless, being influenced by different cultural systems does not necessarily equate to adopting their beliefs and behaviors. But the stronger the influence and the longer the exposure to the culture, the more likely we are to begin adopting the thinking, the attitudes, and the practices of that culture, for better or for worse. A person who works with cynics, has cynics for neighbors, goes to college with cynics, and socializes with cynics on the weekend will likely develop some cynical tendencies, unless deliberate efforts are made to the contrary. And that's why living a multi-cultured life can be very beneficial for helping one to retain his/her values.

Let's consider three different cultures: work, church, and home. Within each of these systems there are different norms for what is considered good behavior. There are different philosophies for how to appropriately interact with others, spend your time, participate in the political sphere, and basically anything else you can think of. If you have no existing beliefs or concepts about a particular aspect of human experience, these systems will certainly try to influence you. And when one of these systems conflicts with your personal beliefs, it can require a great deal of effort to counteract the effects of that system. For example, if you work in an aggressive and abrasive environment, it will require significant personal commitment and effort to not become like your aggressive and abrasive co-workers. One of the most effective resources in combating unwanted cultural influence is active exposure to different cultures. An aggressive work culture can, in part, be countered through active exposure to a patient and peaceful religious or family culture. An intolerant family culture can be countered through a compassionate religious culture. We can temper our natures by keeping company with the people who we wish to become like. And entertaining multiple circles of association also helps us to avoid the group think that occurs from consistently being surrounded by people who believe the same things.

So if your work culture, your religious culture, and your family culture are relatively similar it's likely that you'll spend your time in those systems being reinforced and re-indoctrinated over and over again, with a decreased capacity to realize what elements of those systems are not founded in truth...Then again, if you've left your own cultural cradle and gained a glimpse of something else that permanently opens your eyes, you may never again be completely comfortable with swallowing your own culture in its entirety.

Our human experience is fleeting and our perspective so limited, but we can know love.

2010-07-18T19:46:00.001-07:00

"Again and again, however we know the landscape of love
and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names,
and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others
fall: again and again the two of us walk out together
under the ancient trees, lie down again and again
among the flowers, face to face with the sky."

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Your brain on computers

2010-07-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/07/technology/07brain.html

Concerned Women of America Brochure

2010-07-10T15:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.cwfa.org/brochures/fathers.pdf

Dad is key

2010-06-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

"I hasten to acknowledge that there are too many husbands and fathers who are abusive to their wives and children and from whom the wives and children need protection. Yet modern sociological studies powerfully reaffirm the essential influence of a caring father in the life of a child--boy or girl. In the past twenty years, as homes and families have struggled to stay intact, sociological studies reveal this alarming fact: much of the crime and many of the behavioral disorders in the United States come from homes where the father has abandoned the children. In many societies the world over, child poverty, crime, drug abuse, and family decay can be traced to conditions where the father gives no male nurturing. Sociologically it is now painfully apparent that fathers are not optional family baggage." (James E. Faust in LDS General Conference Report, Apr. 1993, 44-45, 47)

Children need fathers

2010-06-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

"Studies show that fathers have a special role to play in building a child's self-respect. They are important, too, in ways we really don't understand, in developing internal limits and controls in children...Research also shows that fathers are critical in establishment of gender in children. Interestingly, fatherly involvement produces stronger sexual identity and character in both boys and girls. It is well established that the masculinity of sons and the femininity of daughters are each greater when fathers are active in family life" (Karl Zinsmeister, "Do Children Need Fathers?" Crisis, Oct. 1992).

Deceived

2010-06-19T14:11:00.001-07:00

"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right."
-Thomas Paine, Common Sense

A bumper sticker I saw last week

2010-06-19T14:06:00.001-07:00

Secrecy promotes tyranny

Listen to yourself

2010-06-11T11:15:00.001-07:00

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become."
-Steve Jobs

The Free

2010-06-07T15:25:00.000-07:00

"No arsenal...is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."
-Ronald Reagan,
Inaugural Address 1981

Good America, Great America

2010-06-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

"I sought the greatness of the United States in her commodious harbors, her ample rivers, her fertile fields, and boundless forests- and it was not there. I sought for it in her rich mines, her vast world commerce, her public school system, and in her institutions of higher learning- and it was not there. I looked for it in her democratic Congress and her matchless Constitution- and it was not there. Not until I went into the churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genius and power. America is great because America is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great!"
-Alexis de Tocqueville

There is no such thing as effective multi-tasking

2010-05-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2010/05/how-and-why-to-stop-multitaski.html

Stumbling over the truth

2010-05-24T15:58:00.000-07:00

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."
-Winston Churchill

Men need to be needed

2010-05-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

Dr. Leonard Sax, author of Boys Adrift, was interviewed by NPR on April 4, 2006 after he wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post about his ongoing study of unmotivated boys and young men. The op-ed received widespread attention, being reprinted in three dozen newspapers, and in response to his interview he received over one thousand emails from listeners. Dr. Sax included some of these emails in a chapter of his book. The last email of the chapter is quoted in part below.

From: "Kent Robertson"
Subject: NPR interview

I thought I would share an epiphany I experienced during your interview.

With 4 sons, teen and pre-teen, this "Failure to Launch" trend is one I need to get in front of. You mentioned that these men are quite content despite their lack of motivation. Well, why the hell not. These man/boys have it all. Their material needs are handed to them. The over-indulgent Moms will see to that (didn't the mother who called in make that clear?). Their emasculated fathers usually have little say.

Here's the epiphany--or confession, if you like. I sense that I am only a marital separation away from sinking into such a funk...I have seen many grown men, when their marriage fails, drift toward the man/boy zero-ambition style of life, living in a shanty or maybe back home with parents, in pursuit of personal gratification over everything else, exploiting every sexual opportunity, not unlike the man/boy you described on NPR.

You mentioned "the engine that runs the world." As for me, I think that the engine is the love of a good woman and the ambitions we have together for the family we are raising and for the world we want them to inherit.

Has our intellectual elite and our popular culture tinkered with "the engine that runs the world?" Have we violated something that the ancients knew intuitively but which we have arrogantly ignored?

Kent Robertson

An Important Book!

2010-05-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

Boys Adrift, by Dr. Leonard Sax, explores the growing phenomenon of unmotivated, underperforming boys in modern society. He offers five reasons for this epidemic:
*Video games
*Teaching methods
*Prescription drugs
*Environmental toxins
*Devaluation of masculinity

Read more at http://www.boysadrift.com/.

Quiet grit

2010-05-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

The thoughtless, the ignorant, and the indolent, seeing only the apparent effects of things and not the things themselves, talk of luck, of fortune, and chance. Seeing a man grow rich, they say, "How lucky he is!" Observing another become intellectual they exclaim, "How highly favored he is!" And noting the saintly character and wide influence of another, they remark, "How chance aids him at every turn!" They do not see the trials and failures and struggles which these men have voluntarily encountered in order to gain their experience; have no knowledge of the sacrifices they have made, of the undaunted efforts they have put forth, of the faith they have exercised, that they might overcome the apparently insurmountable, and realize the Vision of their heart. They do not know the darkness, and the heartaches; they only see the light and joy, and call it "luck"; do not see the long and arduous journey, but only behold the pleasant goal, and call it "good fortune"; do not understand the process, but only perceive the result, and call it "chance."
-James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

Television programming and role modeling

2010-04-30T07:07:00.000-07:00

Television programs receive extensive attention for how they characterize different racial and gender groups. Many sitcoms pay particular attention to avoid racial stereotypes and portray minority families in positive relationships with successful lifestyles. Programs that fail to do so are criticized for perpetuating negative images and attitudes of these groups. In a similar way to minority groups, women are depicted as competent and balanced, often juggling a career and childrearing with ease. Fathers and husbands, on the other hand, are frequently depicted as bumbling, lazy, incompetent, and even superfluous. Sometimes it's as if the man is just another one of the children that mother must take care of, rather than a dependable, contributing leader of the home. This modeling of husband and father gives an image of men's familial roles that can be discouraging and disappointing for both men and women--for men in light of their roles, and for women in their relationship to men fulfilling those roles.

Misandry

2010-04-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

Somehow it has become widely acceptable to berate and disrespect men as a gender. Man-hating is validated and justified while the same attitudes and behaviors towards women are condemned as sexist and inappropriate. Perhaps some feel that this antipathy is deserved for offenses committed by men. But returning raling for raling is false justice. Our fates are tied together. We cannot do harm to another without harming ourselves. Derogatory attitudes towards men and their roles, especially as fathers and husbands, have both personal and societal consequences. As we undermine their contributions and malign even purposeful and constructive concepts of masculinity, we not only discourage men from filling crucial roles in their families, but tell them they'll be inadequate or even total failures in doing so. People naturally become as we regard them. Misandry will not help improve men's behavior any more than misogyny will improve women's.

The Tongue Reveals the Heart

2010-04-28T12:19:00.000-07:00

"How can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh."
-Jesus Christ

Internal work

2010-04-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

"What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality."
-Plutarch

Words from a fashion writer

2010-04-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

"Clothes are not everything, but you cannot have depths without surfaces. They communicate with what is within; between the two there is always a great dialogue."
-Linda Grant

I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more!

2010-04-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I try my best
To be just like I am
But everybody wants you
To be just like them...
-Bob Dylan, Maggie's Farm

Organizations that reward conformity vs. original thinking

2010-04-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

Hierarchies that exist for the primary purpose of sustaining and propagating themselves reward conformity over original thought. Organizations that are more concerned with accomplishing the mission for which they were created not only tolerate, but welcome creative and divergent thinking to further their purpose.

A world without planes

2010-04-21T18:22:00.000-07:00

Unlike planes, "the soul invariably travels at the speed of a camel."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_8626000/8626927.stm

Time to love

2010-04-20T07:31:00.001-07:00

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
-Mother Teresa

An Incredible Model for Saving Lives

2010-04-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

The Delancey Street Foundation, based in San Francisco, helps those who have hit rock bottom to turn their lives around using a powerful leadership model for personal change.
http://www.delanceystreetfoundation.org/

The Truth

2010-04-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

"The truth is not to be found in either side, but in the debate between them."
-Unknown

Great Bumper Stickers

2010-04-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

I love my country, but I think we need to start seeing other people.

The five day work week: Brought to you by the labor movement.

Think! It's not illegal yet.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Feeling safe to pour out your words

2010-03-29T10:19:00.000-07:00

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away."
-George Eliot

One hand open and one hand closed

2010-03-27T14:02:00.000-07:00

A room of business associates were once asked, half in jest, by a professional presenter, "What's the purpose of life?" A man raised his hand and responded, "The purpose of life is to be mature. To be mature is to walk with one hand open and one hand closed. It is to live with openness in considering new ideas and receive the good things around you: walking with one hand open. And it is to live with determination in your principles and beliefs, remaining steady in your goals and purpose: walking with one hand closed."

If we desire to enjoy the fulness of life, it is important that we learn to balance our impulses to command with our instincts to receive. There are some who passively accept what they receive from others and from circumstance, be it against their principles, be it abusive, or be it a waste of their time. These are people with no resistance. And there are those so rigid that they feel compelled to control others and their circumstances, impose their opinions and whims, and demand compliance with their way of doing things. With them there is no negotiation or flexibility. Finding a balance between these two extremes allows us to stand firm in our convictions while receiving and embracing the contributions of others and the good in life. By doing so we can live a structured and purpose-driven life, while remaining adaptable and amenable to life's constant encounters with the unknown, the unexpected, and the unwanted.

Persian proverb

2010-03-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

Solitude and leadership

2010-03-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

Very worthwhile reading
http://www.theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/

Practicing music

2010-03-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

Each of us plays a figurative instrument with a distinct sound. We have certain melodies that we like to play and certain rhythms that appeal to us. We even have a certain tempo at which we like to play our songs. In our daily interactions we blend our sound with others, sometimes harmonizing and sometimes not. Sometimes it can take time, practice, and careful listening to hear another's rhythm and adjust our own playing to create music. The more we play together with a listening ear, the more we learn to hear the subtle characteristics of others' songs and learn to make great music together. Those with whom we share our closest bonds are those who we've learned to play well with.

Makers of themselves

2010-03-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

"'They themselves are makers of themselves' by virtue of the thoughts, which they choose and encourage; that mind is the master weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance, and that, as they have hitherto woven in ignorance and pain they may now weave in enlightenment and happiness."
-James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

Unlearning

2010-03-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

Your ability to survive, get by, or even thrive in life is a function of your ability to learn. Those who effectively learn are able to adapt to their environment as well as changing circumstances, and they may even be able to influence the systems within which they operate. Learning how to progress in your relationships to others, your health, your profession, your faith, your understanding of yourself, and anything else you care about depend upon your concept of progression and how you are able to learn the necessary knowledge, skills, and abilities to move yourself towards your goals. What lessons you choose to take from your life experience are directly connected to how you learn. Those who quickly draw conclusions based on limited information are inclined to make superficial and innacurate judgments. Those who take time to gather more data as they construct their perspectives will form even more astute judgments. And those who are best able to learn are those who can unlearn. Even with our best efforts to understand the world around us, we will get many, if not most, things wrong. Having the humility and dexterity to question our assumptions and re-evaluate our positions enables us to unlearn erroneous ideas and practices, hopefully putting us closer to the truth in our beliefs and behaviors.

As emotional beings we are prone to fears and coping mechanisms that inhibit the free exercise of our minds and spirits. If a person injures a limb and thereafter chooses to protect it by keeping it in a sling, that limb will never fully heal. So too are our minds and hearts. Our inability to unlearn false conclusions about life condemns us to function in an inhibited way. We persist in these neurotic patterns because we cling to our learned behaviors, failing to forgive and forget ourselves and others. We also become resistant to unlearning our habits because with time and practice our manner becomes so entrenched. Unlearning breathes new life and opportunities into us and helps us to use all our faculties again.

Satisfaction

2010-03-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. And if the fool, or the pig, are a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question."
John Stuart Mill, Utilitarianism

Still children

2010-03-11T09:20:00.001-08:00

"In reality, we are still children. We want to find a playmate for our thoughts and feelings."
-Wilhelm Stekel

The Burning Ladder

2010-03-09T16:18:00.000-08:00

   Jacob
never climbed the ladder
burning in his dream. Sleep
pressed him like a stone
in the dust,
   and when
he should have risen
like a flame to join
that choir, he was sick
of travelling,
   and closed
his eyes to the Seraphim
ascending, unconscious
of the impossible distances
between their steps,
   missed
them mount the brilliant
ladder, slowly disappearing
into the scattered light
between the stars,
   slept
through it all, a stone
upon a stone pillow,
shivering, Gravity
always greater than desire.

-Dana Gioia, Daily Horoscope

Passion

2010-03-03T07:56:00.001-08:00

http://www.danagioia.net/essays/epassion.htm

Change yourself to change your circumstance

2010-03-03T07:54:00.000-08:00

"Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound."
-James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

Intimacy and power

2010-02-28T08:16:00.000-08:00

True interpersonal intimacy is not built by the wielding of power, but by the yielding of power.

Live or die for a cause

2010-02-26T07:21:00.000-08:00

"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."
-Wilhelm Stekel

Reach out and touch someone

2010-02-25T09:31:00.000-08:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/health/23mind.html?em

Pining for youth

2010-02-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

Those who continually live in the days of their youth as the pinnacle of their existence have either closed doors of opportunity through their decisions or failed to open new ones revealing new adventures. Their clinging to the past is evidence of an unwillingness to cope with the rigor of life's greater challenges and discover the value of new opportunities for creating an abundant life. Those "halcyon years" of youth were never meant to last forever. Each phase of life has its own joys and its own sorrows. The innocence of youth is unburdened by the cares of experience, but the joys of perspective belong to the seasoned.

Life is a wave

2010-02-22T12:54:00.000-08:00

A wave moves across space and time, transferring energy through physical media. Along its path it creates disturbance, bringing motion and activity to previously inert elements. Then it continues on its path and these elements come to a rest behind it. The wave does not permanently deposit its energy nor does it accumulate matter along its path.

Life moves as a wave. It passes through the generations, giving itself to common elements by immaculate organization and then setting them in motion. Each new being follows the pattern of its species while standing unique among unlimited possible versions. Babies come into the world in simple brilliance and undefined potential. They live their lives and grow to maturity, eventually bringing forth their own children. These parents nurture and steady their children as they grow older and assume distinct lives of their own. Eventually they become grandparents. They grow old and pass on. Their bodies return to the earth, empty of the energy which once animated their matter. And the living wave rolls forward. Those that die leave behind their posterity and the legacy of their lives.

The Stages of an Idea

2010-02-13T08:40:00.000-08:00

An idea begins as an inkling--as a hunch--and when it is pursued through questioning one begins to discover the length and limits of that hunch. In its inchoate stages, the idea is amorphous and weak and useless. If it withstands enough mental or empirical testing to demonstrate its applicability in a variety of contexts, then it moves from being a hunch to becoming a useful idea with borders and backbone. Continued testing of the idea will knock off its rough edges and perhaps force a shifting of its form. The greatest ideas are elegant and compelling. They are powerful in reshaping peoples' consciousness and perspective. The greatest ideas find ready application and wide applicability.

Funny but so true

2010-02-09T08:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/report_90_of_waking_hours_spent

How long does it take to change yourself?

2010-02-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

We often think that it takes a long time to change ourselves. That's not true. Change is instantaneous. It's not changing that takes so much time.

Your body takes abstract thoughts literally

2010-02-05T08:19:00.000-08:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/02/science/02angier.html

Children follow their parents' cues

2010-02-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

How do children navigate the enormous confusion of a complex world? They follow the lead of their parents. What they choose to value, to pursue, and to conform to is heavily influenced by the opinions and attitudes of their parents, even if those views are only expressed through their behavior. Parental influence also shapes how children learn to categorize their surroundings and rank their preferences. Parents with a strong desire to be accepted and validated by others will raise children who are more susceptible to peer pressure, whereas parents who focus on making decisions according to firmly held beliefs in principles will raise children with greater discipline and conviction. Parents who ignore the flood of media deceptions and actively choose to limit themselves to enriching media will raise children who discriminate in their own media choices. Your ability to break a negative pattern in your own life can bless your family for generations.

Your "way of being" matters

2010-02-02T09:21:00.000-08:00

"Generally speaking, we respond to others' way of being toward us rather than to their behavior. Which is to say that [people] respond more to how we're regarding them than they do to our particular words or actions."
-The Anatomy of Peace

Do schools kill creativity?

2010-02-01T09:38:00.000-08:00

A very funny TED talk on the diversity of intelligence and how to cultivate it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY

Ending Violence

2010-01-29T10:50:00.001-08:00

"We first need to find our way out of the internal wars that are poisoning our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes toward others. If we can't put an end to the violence within us, there is no hope for putting an end to the violence without."
-The Anatomy of Peace
from the Arbinger Institute

Cultures at the far edge of the world

2010-01-28T07:16:00.000-08:00

A fascinating twenty minutes on the world's cultural diversity and the need to protect it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL7vK0pOvKI

Reason and Passion

2010-01-22T08:07:00.000-08:00

Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite.

Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.

But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.

If either your sails or our rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.

Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.

Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows - then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."

And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, - then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."

And since you are a breath In God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.

-Khalil Gibran
Lebanese poet

Travel

2010-01-21T08:01:00.000-08:00

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."
-Mark Twain

A poem by Rainer Maria Rilke

2010-01-20T10:25:00.000-08:00

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.

What you can give to your children

2010-01-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

"You may give your children your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts."
-Khalil Gibran

...........I Know the Way You Can Get..........

2010-01-15T08:20:00.000-08:00

I know the way you can get

When you have not had a drink of Love:

Your face hardens,

Your sweet muscles cramp.

Children become concerned

About a strange look that appears in your eyes

Which even begins to worry your own mirror

And nose.

Squirrels and birds sense your sadness

And call an important conference in a tall tree.

They decide which secret code to chant

To help your mind and soul.

Even angels fear that brand of madness

That arrays itself against the world

And throws sharp stones and spears into

The innocent

And into one's self.

O I know the way you can get

If you have not been drinking Love:

You might rip apart

Every sentence your friends and teachers say,

Looking for hidden clauses.

You might weigh every word on a scale

Like a dead fish.

You might pull out a ruler to measure

From every angle in your darkness

The beautiful dimensions of a heart you once

Trusted.

I know the way you can get

If you have not had a drink from Love's

Hands.

That is why all the Great Ones speak of

The vital need

To keep remembering God,

So you will come to know and see Him

As being so Playful

And Wanting,

Just Wanting to help.

That is why Hafiz says:

Bring your cup near me.

For all I care about

Is quenching your thirst for freedom!

All a Sane man can ever care about

Is giving Love!

-Hafiz
Sufi poet

The Ability to Forget

2010-01-13T07:51:00.000-08:00

"A retentive memory is a good thing, but the ability to forget is the true token of greatness."
-Elbert Hubbard

As we allow people the freedom to have a new beginning every day, we allow them the freedom to change and grow. The same principle applies to ourselves. As we forgive ourselves and exercise faith in our ability to change, we become free to blaze our own trail, to abandon old habits, to set new patterns, and to liberate our spirits.

Empathy

2010-01-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

True intellectual inquiry sometimes requires empathy. To understand a contrasting viewpoint, especially in the presence of strong emotional disapproval, demands that we suspend our perspective to entertain the validity of the opposing viewpoint. As we place ourselves in the shoes of others and sincerely seek to understand how they arrived at their conclusions, we will receive a glimpse of their orientation towards the issue and a better understanding of their personal context. This process requires both humility and curiosity. Our patience will be rewarded with a broadened perspective and a more generous heart. If we seek only to justify ourselves and defend our positions we will be blinded to any deeper understanding.

"Empathy is the experience of foreign consciousness in general."
-Edith Stein

You are what you think about

2010-01-11T10:09:00.000-08:00

"Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts."
-Marcus Aurelius

We see the world as we are

2010-01-08T16:53:00.000-08:00

"We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are."
-The Talmud

The way we see the world, our relationships, and our life situation is a direct representation of who we are. I'm reminded of the expression, "What you say about me says more about you than it does about me."

The Humanness in Kershisnik's Art

2010-01-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

American painter, Brian Kershisnik, captures human life in its simple, awkward, and humorous manners. His creations breathe new perspective into our relationships to the divine, to ourselves, our spouses, our children, and even our pets. His works are profoundly spiritual but unidealized--in fact, they are often quite humorous. Here are some of my favorites. See more of his work at his website: http://www.kershisnik.com/

Flight Practice with Instruction

Father and Son

My Ancestors Kissed

That Song

This Splendid Inconvenience

Arguing to Death: Socrates in America

2009-12-31T07:33:00.000-08:00

Here's an excerpt from a superb article in the Dec. 17 edition of the "Economist."

In 1968 Stringfellow Barr, an historian and president of St. John's College in Maryland, wrote a Socratic critique of American discourse: "There is pathos in television dialogue: the rapid exchange of monologues that fail to find the issue, like ships passing in the night; the reiterated preface, 'I think that...,' as if it mattered who held which opinion rather than which opinion is worth holding; the impressive personal vanity that prevents each 'discussant' from really listening to another speaker".

Complete article:
http://www.economist.com/world/unitedstates/displaystory.cfm?story_id=15108704

The Artwork of Shepard Fairey

2009-12-29T09:15:00.000-08:00

Contemporary artist, Shepard Fairey, is good at making a statement. His ability to attach irony to modern symbols, iconography, and themes in order to critique social and political ills is unmatched. From sardonic renditions of currency designs to satirical propaganda posters, Fairey's artwork is both visually engaging and thought provoking.

Every person needs four things

2009-12-27T17:47:00.000-08:00

1. Something to do
2. Someone to love
3. Something to believe in
4. Something to look forward to

(From legendary college football coach, Lou Holtz)

The Idea of Progress

2009-12-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

As we journey through the ages, we realize that our concept of progress inevitably falls short again and again.

http://www.economist.com/world/international/displaystory.cfm?story_id=15108593

Why Get an Education

2009-12-25T17:45:00.000-08:00

I sometimes hear people reveal their esteem for education primarily in terms of how it can increase earning power. Yes, making a living is important and education is the best means to making a higher salary, but there are so many additional reasons why an education is important. A rigorous education provides the foundation for a conscious and fulfilling life as well as for responsible citizenship. If we are only educated in technical skills with a neglect for the development of our capabilities for reasoning and discernment, then we become mere cogs in the modern industrial machine. We fail to exercise the active agency and social resistance to make discriminating choices about what ideas or products we embrace, how we view others and behave towards them, what we value, and what we refuse to pay attention to. Education teaches us how to recognize and appreciate beauty. It helps us to question our assumptions and recognize our biases. It helps us to organize our thinking and develop the skills for communicating effectively. An education gives us the power to interpret our world from different angles, improve our relationships, and avoid the deception of those who would try to control us for their gain. For these reasons, it is important that mothers and fathers, artisans and business people, technicians and scientists are educated not only in the technique and best practices of their individual roles, but in a general understanding of the world in its physical, spiritual, and social aspects. Getting an education helps us to become better human beings.

Moral Discipline is the Foundation of a Civilized Society

2009-12-23T08:15:00.000-08:00

"Self-discipline has eroded and societies are left to try to maintain order and civility by compulsion. The lack of internal control by individuals breeds external control by governments. One columnist observed that “gentlemanly behavior [for example, once] protected women from coarse behavior. Today, we expect sexual harassment laws to restrain coarse behavior. . . .

“Policemen and laws can never replace customs, traditions and moral values as a means for regulating human behavior. At best, the police and criminal justice system are the last desperate line of defense for a civilized society. Our increased reliance on laws to regulate behavior is a measure of how uncivilized we’ve become.” (D. Todd Christofferson, "Moral Discipline," LDS General Conference Oct. 2009)

Little Pleasures and Hard Work

2009-12-22T12:16:00.000-08:00

You will understand that I am bragging when I say that my children are farmers...Last summer my granddaughter, Virginia, who was eleven, put in some long days on the [tractor]. She was good at it, and all of us are pleased with her. She told her mother: "What is good about hard work is that it teaches you about little pleasures." She said that when the weather was hot and a little breeze came, it made her happy and she was grateful. I think this is something very important to know. I hope that, when the time comes, this knowledge of little pleasures will preserve her from the common assumption that pleasures have to be big, expensive, and dangerous. I am thankful that she could learn this in the same way that her parents and grandparents learned it. I am thankful that we have continued so far. (Wendell Berry, "Citizenship Papers," 2004, Counterpoint Press)

The Space Between

2009-12-18T11:27:00.000-08:00

“Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.”

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Faux Friendship

2009-12-17T07:58:00.000-08:00

A fascinating article about the state of friendship

http://chronicle.com/article/Faux-Friendship/49308/

Poetry and Marriage by Wendell Berry

2009-12-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

The meaning of marriage begins in the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word. And this must be an unconditional giving, for in joining ourselves to another we join ourselves to the unknown. We can join one another only by joining the unknown. We must not be misled by the procedures of experimental thought: in life, in the world, we are never given two known results to choose between, but only one result that we choose without knowing what it is.

Marriage rests upon the immutable givens that compose it: words, bodies, characters, histories, places. Some wishes cannot succeed; some victories cannot be won; some loneliness is incorrigible. But there is relief and freedom in knowing what is real; these givens come to us out of the perennial reality of the world, like the terrain we live on. One does not care for this ground to make it a different place, or to make it perfect, but to make it inhabitable and to make it better. To flee from its realities is only to arrive at them unprepared.

Because the condition of marriage is worldly and its meaning communal, no one party to it can be solely in charge. What you alone think it ought to be, it is not going to be. Where you alone think you want it to go, it is not going to go. It is going where the two of you - and marriage, time, life, history, and the world - will take it. You do not know the road; you have committed your life to a way.

Education and Democracy

2009-12-15T12:39:00.000-08:00

"The founders of our Republic envisioned education as providing for all citizens the necessary apprenticeship in the understanding and practice of democracy. To make democracy safe we must have universal schooling; to make schooling safe for education we must have democracy. But since the founding of our country the study and practice of democracy in our schools has weakened. We must return to the primary purpose of education and ensure that it is indeed for everyone."(Goodlad, John I., Corinne Mantle-Bromley, and Stephen John Goodlad, 2004, "Education for Everyone: Agenda for Education in a Democracy," Jossey-Bass.)

Reverence

2009-12-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

Reverence is a key component of a happy and balanced life, and it also forms the backbone of a healthy and cooperative society. But unfortunately, reverence is largely absent in modern society. There's a pervasive lack of reverence for other people, for the earth, for spiritual knowledge, for life, and for ourselves. Reverence is gratitude and respect for the whole of creation and for one's humble position within that great system. Reverence means patience in forming judgments. Reverence means recognition for the contributions and value of different individuals in one's community. Reverence means recognizing the value of other communities with differing ideologies. Reverence is generosity of spirit. Reverence is selflessness.

Imagine a world of reverence.
There is no violence to the earth. Imagine how clean the air is. There is no violence between people. Imagine how peacefully conflict is resolved. Imagine how people do business. Imagine how they recreate. Imagine how they worship--their lives are a continual practice of worshiping the sacred.

Convenience can be the enemy of relationship building

2009-11-24T11:08:00.000-08:00

Within the United States we often hold convenience up as a virtue unto itself. What is intended to make our lives easier, however, can actually consume some of our best opportunities to build relationships in subtle ways.

Example 1: A young married couple with one car coordinates their schedules to get each other to school, work, and other commitments. While it may be a bit 'inconvenient' to have only one car, working together to find solutions to their transportation challenges brings them together as a couple. They spend more time with each other and are more involved in each other's lives.

Example 2: Parents hire a nanny to take care of their children. While this may give them more time for career, personal development, or other pursuits, it will rob them of the simple moments that build relationships: making breakfast, tying shoes, wiping runny noses, teaching children how to pick a good apple at the grocery store, etc. It is in the daily routine that we grow together. It is also in the daily routine that we catch those unexpected moments of great joy and humor.

Example 3: A family plants a garden to grow vegetables. It will require watering, weeding, and nurturing for months before they will be able to eat the food. They could just run to the grocery store and buy those same foods at less expense and at greater convenience, but their choice to cultivate a garden will provide opportunities for all to learn the law of the harvest and the value of work. They will also be able to enjoy the delicious fruits of their labor and deepen their connection to the rest of creation.

Modern day conveniences have certainly provided some great opportunities and simplified our lives in terrific ways. Being perceptive about the consequences of each convenience decision helps us to be wise in what time saving technologies we allow into out lives.

Blame and responsibility

2009-11-23T19:46:00.000-08:00

The following NY Times video discusses how Pakistani musicians blame the West for Pakistan's problems.

http://video.nytimes.com/video/2009/11/11/world/1247465633296/tuning-out-the-taliban.html?ref=world

Blaming a scapegoat is a common way to avoid the real work. You see the same thing happening in the U.S. with the right blaming "the liberals" for America's problems or vice versa. Focusing on the true problems and recognizing that you may be contributing to them is the work that few dare to tackle. People frequently blame the 'crooks in Washington' for America's political problems. It is we the people who elected those 'crooks.' Our complaints with their behavior can be traced to deeper systemic problems within our society. We need to be better citizens. A more responsible practice of citizenship will do more than blame or complain. It will start by reflecting at the individual level to see that one's own behavior meets the standards that democracy requires. From there, one's labors should emanate to one's family and community. One will seek to positively contribute to these units by being educated, involved, and aware. One must also espouse the virtues of integrity, hard work, and charity. Building the foundation of a strong nation must start with our own stone.

Thomas Friedman expresses his concern about the current state of governance in the U.S. and what the solution must be.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/22/friedman-worries-about-am_n_366648.html

Be yourself

2009-11-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

I owe a great amount of my personal happiness and success to listening to myself and then embracing the path onto which it guides me. The forces of socio-cultural influence bear down with incredible strength upon our will. But our internal compass may often require us to negotiate the tension we feel vis-a-vis our external system and choose against the demands of that context. A commitment to humility and truth will serve as dependable guides in this process.