Feeling safe to pour out your words

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away."
-George Eliot

One hand open and one hand closed

A room of business associates were once asked, half in jest, by a professional presenter, "What's the purpose of life?" A man raised his hand and responded, "The purpose of life is to be mature. To be mature is to walk with one hand open and one hand closed. It is to live with openness in considering new ideas and receive the good things around you: walking with one hand open. And it is to live with determination in your principles and beliefs, remaining steady in your goals and purpose: walking with one hand closed."

If we desire to enjoy the fulness of life, it is important that we learn to balance our impulses to command with our instincts to receive. There are some who passively accept what they receive from others and from circumstance, be it against their principles, be it abusive, or be it a waste of their time. These are people with no resistance. And there are those so rigid that they feel compelled to control others and their circumstances, impose their opinions and whims, and demand compliance with their way of doing things. With them there is no negotiation or flexibility. Finding a balance between these two extremes allows us to stand firm in our convictions while receiving and embracing the contributions of others and the good in life. By doing so we can live a structured and purpose-driven life, while remaining adaptable and amenable to life's constant encounters with the unknown, the unexpected, and the unwanted.

Persian proverb

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

Solitude and leadership

Very worthwhile reading
http://www.theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/

Practicing music

Each of us plays a figurative instrument with a distinct sound. We have certain melodies that we like to play and certain rhythms that appeal to us. We even have a certain tempo at which we like to play our songs. In our daily interactions we blend our sound with others, sometimes harmonizing and sometimes not. Sometimes it can take time, practice, and careful listening to hear another's rhythm and adjust our own playing to create music. The more we play together with a listening ear, the more we learn to hear the subtle characteristics of others' songs and learn to make great music together. Those with whom we share our closest bonds are those who we've learned to play well with.

Makers of themselves

"'They themselves are makers of themselves' by virtue of the thoughts, which they choose and encourage; that mind is the master weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance, and that, as they have hitherto woven in ignorance and pain they may now weave in enlightenment and happiness."
-James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

Unlearning

Your ability to survive, get by, or even thrive in life is a function of your ability to learn. Those who effectively learn are able to adapt to their environment as well as changing circumstances, and they may even be able to influence the systems within which they operate. Learning how to progress in your relationships to others, your health, your profession, your faith, your understanding of yourself, and anything else you care about depend upon your concept of progression and how you are able to learn the necessary knowledge, skills, and abilities to move yourself towards your goals.  What lessons you choose to take from your life experience are directly connected to how you learn. Those who quickly draw conclusions based on limited information are inclined to make superficial and innacurate judgments. Those who take time to gather more data as they construct their perspectives will form even more astute judgments. And those who are best able to learn are those who can unlearn. Even with our best efforts to understand the world around us, we will get many, if not most, things wrong. Having the humility and dexterity to question our assumptions and re-evaluate our positions enables us to unlearn erroneous ideas and practices, hopefully putting us closer to the truth in our beliefs and behaviors.

As emotional beings we are prone to fears and coping mechanisms that inhibit the free exercise of our minds and spirits. If a person injures a limb and thereafter chooses to protect it by keeping it in a sling, that limb will never fully heal. So too are our minds and hearts. Our inability to unlearn false conclusions about life condemns us to function in an inhibited way. We persist in these neurotic patterns because we cling to our learned behaviors, failing to forgive and forget ourselves and others. We also become resistant to unlearning our habits because with time and practice our manner becomes so entrenched.  Unlearning breathes new life and opportunities into us and helps us to use all our faculties again.

Satisfaction

"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. And if the fool, or the pig, are a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question."
John Stuart Mill, Utilitarianism

Still children

"In reality, we are still children. We want to find a playmate for our thoughts and feelings."
-Wilhelm Stekel

The Burning Ladder

                 Jacob
never climbed the ladder
burning in his dream. Sleep
pressed him like a stone
in the dust,
                 and when
he should have risen
like a flame to join
that choir, he was sick
of travelling,
                 and closed
his eyes to the Seraphim
ascending, unconscious
of the impossible distances
between their steps,
                 missed
them mount the brilliant
ladder, slowly disappearing
into the scattered light
between the stars,
                slept
through it all, a stone
upon a stone pillow,
shivering, Gravity
always greater than desire.

-Dana Gioia, Daily Horoscope

Passion

http://www.danagioia.net/essays/epassion.htm

Change yourself to change your circumstance

"Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound."
-James Allen, As a Man Thinketh